WHY WRITE A LOVE LETTER?
With Valentine’s Day coming up shortly, today I want to give you some guidelines on how to write an effective Love Letter. By providing you with a few guidelines, I’m sure that you will be able to express your true self to your nearest and dearest, no matter how long you’ve been together. You also may find some surprising benefits when delivering a letter in the right way!
In this world of electronic media, social media and mobile telephones, far too often we are swept up in reacting to things immediately. Often when we react sometimes our reactions can lack in depth, particularly in emotional matters.
I often wonder whether economising on language by using abbreviations and emojis in this Text Generation is really connecting with people. Many would argue that it is simply a shorthand way of expressing yourself and your true feelings. The question that comes to mind is – Does a heart emoji express as much genuine emotion as taking the time to write “I love you”? I will leave that for other people to decide.
My belief is that true connection is not gained by shorthand means.
What I do know is that there are a large number of people out there for whom Words of Affirmation is a strong love language. Taking the time to carefully choose your words, expressing them in handwritten form, sending a letter, sending a card, or some other way of personally delivering words that mean something to the receiver means a lot to these people. If you deliver people and abbreviated or shorthand way of communicating, you run the risk that they feel that you may not deeply consider their worth.
This also applies to people whose languages of connection include Gifts and Acts of Service. Who knows? You may even be able to tap into the Quality Time and Physical Touch love languages if you do this well!
Step 1: FIND AN HOUR FREE OF INTERRUPTIONS
It is important to give yourself some clear time to think. You may want to get out some photo albums, pictures, old memories, trinkets, jewellery or other items that are important to you and the experiences you have shared together. As you go through some of these items, connect with the feelings that you had during these great times.
Step 2: PREPARE SOME POINTS TO TALK ABOUT
Conveying your love to somebody is confirming a deep emotional connection. Deep emotional connections are gained through sharing experiences and acknowledging things that are significant to you. Some thoughts you may wish to consider when thinking of some point you may wish to discuss may be:
When you first fell in love with your partner.
What first surprised you about them.
Your first memory of them.
What they do on a regular basis which reminds you how much you love them.
The most romantic thing they have ever done.
What you see in your partner that other peoples don’t see.
Their greatest strength.
What you admire most about them.
This list is by no means exhaustive, but you can see that they are points that are raised through shared connection. These points must be genuine. They must be points that mean something of significance to you.
Step 3: BE FEARLESS IN YOUR EXPRESSION
This may be something you’ve never done before. I get that! It may be a bit confronting, frightening or some people may think it is completely outside your character. You may not have handwritten anything since you left school. Who cares?
Trust me on this. It doesn’t matter how beautiful or scratchy your handwriting may be, this simple effort of expressing yourself will be massively appreciated. The key to this process is to dig down and genuinely connect with that authentic message that connects to your heart.
You don’t have to write a Shakespearean novel. Just write the way you talk. Let’s face it, this is about YOUR true expression of love, and doesn’t have to be poetic or in line for the Pulitzer prize. You may want to do a draft or two, and even reading it out aloud can make a big difference.
Step 4: DELIVER THOUGHTFULLY
Go to a little extra effort such as buying a few sheets of nice writing paper, making your own card, attaching your letter to a gift, or any other way to make the moment special.
Give some consideration as to how your partner likes to receive things. Maybe you have a special private place that is special to you. Maybe you could go on an outing and hand deliver it there. Perhaps a letter left under their pillow. Perhaps you may even want to create a complete surprise and place a letter in the mail a few days in advance.
One thing of which I am certain. Your efforts will reap rewards!
Now, please excuse me while I go and get mine started!
If you are interested in giving me some feedback or having a further discussion about this please feel free to contact me at